This made me realize how truly awesome Dewey was.
Do You Love Someone With Depression?
If you have a partner or are close to someone who struggles with depression, you may not always know how to show them you love them. One day they may seem fine, and the next they are sad, distant and may push you away. It is important that you know that as a person who is close to them and trusted by them, you can help your friend or partner have shorter, less severe bouts of depression. Mental illness is as real as physical illness (it is physical actually, read more about that here) and your partner needs you as much as they would need to be cared for if they had the flu.
Your relationship may seem one-sided during these times, but by helping your partner through a very difficult and painful affliction, you are strengthening your relationship and their mental health in the long term.
1. Help them keep clutter at bay.
When a person begins spiraling into depression, they may feel like they are slowing down while the world around them speeds up. The mail may end up in stacks, dishes can pile up in the sink, laundry may go undone as the depressed person begins to feel more and more overwhelmed by their daily routine and unable to keep up. By giving your partner some extra help sorting mail, washing dishes or using paper plates and keeping chaos in check in general, you’ll be giving them (and yourself) the gift of a calm environment. (I’m a fan of the minimalist movement because of this, you can read more about that here.)
2. Fix them a healthy meal.
Your partner may do one of two things when they are in a depressed state. They may eat very little, or they may overeat. In either case, they may find that driving through a fast food restaurant or ordering a pizza online is just easier than fixing a meal. Eating like this, or neglecting to eat will only degrade your partner’s health, causing them to go deeper into their depression. Help your loved one keep their body healthy, and their mind will follow. This is a great article that talks about the “Brain Diet” which can help the symptoms of depression, and this article talks about how our modern diet could contribute to the recent rise in depression. Here is a recipe for a trail mix that is quick to make and has mood-boosting properties.
3.Get them outside.
The benefits of getting outside for a depressed person are huge. And it is possibly the last thing on earth your partner will want to do. Take them to be somewhere in nature. Pack a picnic and lie in the sun, take a leisurely hike or plant a garden. Being barefoot in the dirt, or “earthing” helps ground the body and reverse the effects of living in a world of emf’s, and digging in soil can actually act as an antidepressant, as a strain of bacterium in soil, Mycobacterium vaccae, triggers the release of seratonin, which in turn elevates mood and decreases anxiety. Sunshine increases Vitamin D production which can help alleviate depression. My friend Elizabeth wrote an excellent post about Vitamin D and its link to depression here. For more information about other sources of Vitamin D, this is a great post as well as this.
4. Ask them to help you understand what they’re feeling.
If your partner is able to articulate what they are going through, it will help them and you better understand what you are dealing with, and may give insight into a plan of action for helping your partner. Also, feeling alone is common for a depressed person and anything that combats that feeling will help alleviate the severity and length of the depression.
5. Encourage them to focus on self-care.
Depressed people often stop taking care of themselves. Showering, getting haircuts, going to the doctor or dentist, it’s all just too hard, and they don’t deserve to be well taken care of anyway in their minds. This can snowball quickly into greater feelings of worthlessness since “Now I’m such a mess, no one could ever love me”. Help your loved one by being proactive. Tell them “I’m going to do the dishes, why don’t you go enjoy a bubble bath?” can give them the permission they won’t give themselves to do something normal, healthy and self-loving.
6. Hug them.
Studies show that a sincere hug that lasts longer than 20 seconds can release feel-good chemicals in the brain and elevate the mood of the giver and receiver. Depressed people often don’t want to be touched, but a sincere hug with no expectation of anything further can give your partner a lift.
7. Laugh with them.
Telling a silly joke, watching a comedy or seeing a stand up comedian will encourage your partner to laugh in spite of themselves. Laughing releases endorphins and studies show can actually counteract symptoms of depression and anxiety.
8. Reassure them that you can handle their feelings.
Your partner may be feeling worthless, angry and even guilty while they are depressed. They may be afraid that they will end up alone because no one will put up with their episodes forever. Reassure them that you are in the relationship for the long haul and they won’t scare you away because they have an illness.
9. Challenge their destructive thoughts.
A depressed person’s mind can be a never-ending loop of painful, destructive thoughts. “I’m unlovable, I’m a failure, I’m ugly, I’m stupid”. Challenge these untruths with the truth. “You’re not unlovable, I love you. You aren’t a failure, here are all the things you’ve accomplished.”
10.Remind them why you love them.
Look at pictures of happy times you’ve had together. Tell them your favorite things about them. Reminisce about your relationship and all the positive things that have happened, and remind your partner that you love them and they will get through this.
(via The Darling Bakers)
More people need to know this.This is so incredibly important. I’ve seen people with depression ostracized so many times, and I cannot stress how much it means to each and every person I’ve tried to reach out to after whatever “falling-outs” they’ve had due to depression. Remember to always be compassionate and kind to all friends like this, because you never know what they’re going through.
I’m writing about Michael brown in my scholarship essay so I’m wondering if I’m still gonna get it because its about to go down.. I mean they asked me to write about an issue of national importance so..yo this scholarship is worth…
Hopefully they’ll be shocked to giving me a chance.
Yes! it is, inevitably, a persuasive essay, as you’re trying to make them see the importance of this situation (aka our humanity). throw that heart into it! Take it down, break it down, and be real. You’ll stand a good chance then.
I’m writing about Michael brown in my scholarship essay so I’m wondering if I’m still gonna get it because its about to go down.. I mean they asked me to write about an issue of national importance so..yo this scholarship is worth up to 40k.. Should I really be dancing with fire or should I pick something else? Its gotta be 1800 characters (plus spaces) or less and I’m almost done and I just started. I really need this money
damn! that’s a lotttt. well do you know what type of past essays have won? are the reviewers white? i mean it is a good subject but anything that makes white people feel uncomfortable (such as their people killing us) they get sensitive and think we’re blaming them specifically so idk how they’ll feel about it. depends on your panel. yeah perhaps look into some past winners, particularly if there’s anything with “Race discussions/issues” and what their subject matter was and how it was framed.
Sometimes you gotta play the game to appease if you tryna collect! i wouldn’t say don’t be true to yourself or not write about these issues, nah, write about what’s important to you. That heart within the writing is what can get a win, but idk, like i said yts be touchy.
when you have enough information where they can’t deny the issue at hand, it’s like damn. like i did some papers on eurocentric beauty standards and how it affects Black women and other WoC and the anecdotes, stats and various material was too undeniable for the professor to be offended and he was shocked by what he was learning.
Another installment of Brown in Kansas, a cartoon series by Steffany Brown. (Want to see more? That’s up to Steffany, but reblog anyway to show your support!)
It’s good to know that we weren’t the only ones driven crazy by people who “axe” questions.
Fun fact! “Ask” was originally pronounced as “aks” [or “axe,” as it’s spelled in this picture] and changed over time through the process of metathesis. The word descends from the Old English verb 'acsian'. And then in some dialects it started to revert to the original “aks/axe.”
Also interesting to note that the main dialect with which “aks/axe” is associated is AAVE - how funny that we shit on the language of black people in this ~~~”“”post-racial”“”~~~ society! Language bias is one of the last acceptable realms in which you can be unabashedly racist and still get away with - or even be praised for! - your prejudices.
another fun fact, my racist cracker teacher made me go up to the front of the room and write “ask” and “axe” on the board and wouldn’t let me sit down until I could ‘properly’ pronounce the former and that was the last little trace of my new orleans accent after living in texas for a few years and I’ll never get over that
SEE! Dat. Bitch. Evil! What we been sayin???